"as m’lady commands."
A flower for you, my lady.
Sloths are what happens when coconuts come alive
That comment makes sense
[im a boss ass bitch plays in the background]
if you buy me cute underwear i’ll model it for you
If I buy you nothing will you model that for me too?
these college emails i’ve been getting have started to sound more and more serial killer-ish.
"its dark im scared"
dont worry bae i got this
*sketchers light up*
[aggressively hums the Game of Thrones theme at you progressively louder over the next month]
dont use police, teach criminals not to crime
#Dear diary #today I went to threaten Scott’s best friend to help me #and he made me try on shirts #I know that doesn’t sound like a big deal when you write it down #but it was in front of a stranger #and the only one that fit was all colorful #you know I can’t wear colors diary #my wardrobe has to be black and gray like my soul #frowny face